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RA Jokes
1. A 95 year old man sucks his 90 year old wife's breast for half and hour and drinks 2 drops of milk.
POSTMORTEM REPORT - death due to drinking milk after EXPIRY DATE !!
2. Husband reading a book on bed with wife beside. His finger went to tease wife's pussy. Wife start to strip herself and ask asks, "you want sex"? Husband answer "No, I just want to wet my finger to turn the page"
3. Rooster and cat going over bridge. Cat slips & falls into river. Rooster can't stop laughing.
The moral of the story?
Whenever there's a wet pussy, there's a happy cock.
4. There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box. The Female pencil gets pregnant!! Which Male pencil is responsible?
THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER.
5. Girls' reaction to penis sizes:
9": "Oh shit, pain!"
7": "Oh yes, shiok!"
6": "Ohhh, perfect!"
4": "Push more!"
3": "Is it in?"
2": "Idiot! Just use your tongue!"
6. Woman in bed with husband's best friend, phone rings!
She said, "YES.. OK, BYE."
She turns to her lover and says, "THAT'S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE'S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU."
7. There are 3 Roosters: one normal, one retarded and one gay.
Normal: "Cock-a-doodle-dooo!!!"
Retarded: "Doodle-cock-a-dooo!!!"
Gay: "Any-cock-will dooo!!!"
8. What's the most difficult GOLF COURSE in this world?
Answer: INTER COURSE.
No matter how many strokes or what style you play, your balls will never go in !!
9. FACT: Women can get a 2 inch wide penis into a 1.5 inch vagina in pitch dark, but can't get a ****ing 15 feet car into a 40ft parking space in broad daylight!!
10. Teacher: Which part of the body goes to heaven first?
A kid named Johnny replies: "The LEGS.. because every night I see my mum's legs up high and Screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING...."
11. COCK says to his two BALLS: "I am going to take you with me to party."
The BALLS say: "You ****ing liar! You always get INSIDE and leave us waiting OUTSIDE!!!"
12. 3 Guys were introduced to a girl.
"Hi.... I'm Peter, not a saint."
"I'm Paul, not a POPE."
"I'm John, not a Baptist..."
The girl replied.. "Hi.. I'm Mary, not a VIRGIN."
13. Q: Why do men have pubic hair?
A: A nest for their bird...
Q: Why do women have pubic hair?
A: A resting place for the coming bird!!!
14. What does it mean when a girl offers PEPSI to a guy?
P: Please
E: Enter
P: Penis
S: Slowly
I: Inside
15. Girlfriends are like appetizers - Taste good any time.
Mistresses are like tomyam - Hot and spicy. Eaten frequently.
WIVES are like maggi mee - To be eaten when there's nothing to eat!!!
16. The income tax office asked a prostitute why she put her occupation as CHICKEN FARMER.
She replied, "I RAISED 5,000 COCKS LAST YEAR!!"
17. A girl who opens her hand receives gifts.
A girl who opens her heart receives love.
But when a girl opens her legs, she receives happiness.
18. Yesterday's news: A nun jogging at Joggers' Park was raped by 4 guys.
Today's news: Nearly 100 nuns found jogging at the same park
2. Husband reading a book on bed with wife beside. His finger went to tease wife's pussy. Wife start to strip herself and ask asks, "you want sex"? Husband answer "No, I just want to wet my finger to turn the page"
3. Rooster and cat going over bridge. Cat slips & falls into river. Rooster can't stop laughing.
The moral of the story?
Whenever there's a wet pussy, there's a happy cock.
4. There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box. The Female pencil gets pregnant!! Which Male pencil is responsible?
THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER.
5. Girls' reaction to penis sizes:
9": "Oh shit, pain!"
7": "Oh yes, shiok!"
6": "Ohhh, perfect!"
4": "Push more!"
3": "Is it in?"
2": "Idiot! Just use your tongue!"
6. Woman in bed with husband's best friend, phone rings!
She said, "YES.. OK, BYE."
She turns to her lover and says, "THAT'S MY HUBBY, SAYS HE'S NOW GOLFING WITH YOU."
7. There are 3 Roosters: one normal, one retarded and one gay.
Normal: "Cock-a-doodle-dooo!!!"
Retarded: "Doodle-cock-a-dooo!!!"
Gay: "Any-cock-will dooo!!!"
8. What's the most difficult GOLF COURSE in this world?
Answer: INTER COURSE.
No matter how many strokes or what style you play, your balls will never go in !!
9. FACT: Women can get a 2 inch wide penis into a 1.5 inch vagina in pitch dark, but can't get a ****ing 15 feet car into a 40ft parking space in broad daylight!!
10. Teacher: Which part of the body goes to heaven first?
A kid named Johnny replies: "The LEGS.. because every night I see my mum's legs up high and Screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING...."
11. COCK says to his two BALLS: "I am going to take you with me to party."
The BALLS say: "You ****ing liar! You always get INSIDE and leave us waiting OUTSIDE!!!"
12. 3 Guys were introduced to a girl.
"Hi.... I'm Peter, not a saint."
"I'm Paul, not a POPE."
"I'm John, not a Baptist..."
The girl replied.. "Hi.. I'm Mary, not a VIRGIN."
13. Q: Why do men have pubic hair?
A: A nest for their bird...
Q: Why do women have pubic hair?
A: A resting place for the coming bird!!!
14. What does it mean when a girl offers PEPSI to a guy?
P: Please
E: Enter
P: Penis
S: Slowly
I: Inside
15. Girlfriends are like appetizers - Taste good any time.
Mistresses are like tomyam - Hot and spicy. Eaten frequently.
WIVES are like maggi mee - To be eaten when there's nothing to eat!!!
16. The income tax office asked a prostitute why she put her occupation as CHICKEN FARMER.
She replied, "I RAISED 5,000 COCKS LAST YEAR!!"
17. A girl who opens her hand receives gifts.
A girl who opens her heart receives love.
But when a girl opens her legs, she receives happiness.
18. Yesterday's news: A nun jogging at Joggers' Park was raped by 4 guys.
Today's news: Nearly 100 nuns found jogging at the same park
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